Halloween is Boring and Unhealthy


I’m not sure why I used to love Halloween so much.

I used to enjoy the free candy when I was a little guy – and I guess it was fun to be able to put on costumes and go out at night.

Of course, when I was a kid – our parents would just send us out and we could go door to door by ourselves. We also reached the age where we put m-80s in people’s pumpkins and carried squirt guns filled with lighter fluid…

Explosives and arson – yeah, it was a juvenile delinquent night and thankfully nobody ever blew off their hands or burned down someone’s house. How in the world were 12-year-old kids getting quarter sticks of dynamite to blow up people’s jack-o-lanterns? I don’t even remember but that was the 1970s and 80s so parents weren’t really paying attention – the me generation was still focused firmly on themselves which left us free to run riot and have absolutely crazy childhoods whether it was Halloween or not…

In my 20s Halloween became a great holiday to put on a mask and get fucked up drunk – dancing, drinking, sometimes fighting, and if things went right hooking up with some random costumed girl – all of that stuff lost most of its appeal somewhere in my 30s.

Now in my 40s – it’s fun to carve jack-o-lanterns with my 3-year-old daughter. It’s fun to see her putting on a costume. It’s fun to introduce her to trick-or-treating and see her excitement.

Other than that – I’m not much of one for horror stories or slasher flicks or monsters that fall outside of the Dungeons and Dragons realm – though I do confess a weakness for zombie flicks and the Walking Dead on AMC –

The last adult Halloween before my daughter came along was back in Hawaii in 2007 when around 12 of us dressed as different kinds of Gandolf – we had Rasta Gandolf, homeless Gandolf, etc…that was sort of fun in concept – and then there was the drinking and dancing – fun, but already starting to feel not very fun – like going to bars and clubs –


This year, I was more disturbed by the serial killer macabre in the advertising and decorations of my fellow Americans than feeling festive about it – or maybe it’s that the whole world has become a sort of continuous horror movie combined with hard core year-round holiday marketing that is not only exhausting but unhealthy, expensive, and at the end of the day (or night) not very fun.


Creation, Thoughts, and Ideas from a Creator


Without a doubt, the greatest impediment to innovation or creation is not inspiration, but procrastination – most specifically , waiting for the right time, right materials, right circumstance, or right something – if Leonardo or Michelangelo had waited the world would be a poorer place – if Steve Jobs had waited, the world would certainly be different – if Henry Ford or countless others had waited – the world would be unrecognizable – which may or may not be a good thing – I haven’t seen that other world, so I don’t really know.


I only know that our world makes it harder than ever to get started – gone are the days when a poor immigrant can make aprons from cloth bought with his last few dollars and start a grand enterprise – today – to do so legally he needs to have a license, a premisis, a tax ID number, and countless other sanctioned impediments to doing business. Our system is seemingly, a system which does to great length to encourage inertia and to discourage innovation and forward movement.

I, like many others, am a man of ideas. My whole life has been a complex system of coming up with ideas and then working to make them reality – often the only canvas I have had to work with is myself, who I am – and I’ve painted several different me’s through these four decades. My antique shop was born in three days – I spoke with the landlords, I signed the rental agreement, I moved what I had in, and I opened – meanwhile – two shops down the street prepared for months to open their doors – one of them to much better effect than me and the other to about the same lukewarm welcome and success.

My desire is to create, to make new things, to innovate, to paint, to write, to play music, to make art, to start business – that is what I do. I am a creator – not a creative – a creator. I create things. I create books, stories, worlds, websites, magazines, businesses, people (characters and children), and more. I would create far more if I were not stymied by process, procedure, start up costs, regulations, and other artificial impediments to my creative genius. I find it funny, by the way that art is contained in the word artificial – when I find true art to be the most genuine products of humanity…I also find it incredibly annoying to have creators like myself labeled as ‘creatives’ by those who are not. We are not creatives, we are creators. We are not makers, we are creators. We create!

If God did create us in his image, we creators are the ones he must love the most. We create! We understand! And, we also understand how a creation can turn south or end up being disappointing, or not work out the way that we intended.

In the beginning, God created Man and then Man (and woman) started doing all kinds of things God hadn’t intended or thought about – yeah, I get that – the characters in the books I write usually take over at some point and deviate wholly from my preconcieved plotlines – when I paint – it often ends up something completely different from what I started thinking I was painting – even my antique shop is not quite what I had expected it would be – it has been filled with stuff people walked through the door with to sell me – I had no idea this stuff would come here – and so it goes. The stuff I thought would sell has been gathering dust while the stuff I didn’t plan on has paid the rent, I sure hope that continues…

It’s enough for now – although one more thing – I think that perhaps the internet and its offer of allowing me to create whatever I want for the world to see may have dragged me off a path where I would have made more real world things – stuff you can touch and hold.  As a matter of regret – I regret that – all this website crap – it disappears when the power goes out – if I had been making furniture or gardens – they wouldn’t be so ephemeral – or maybe they would. I don’t know. What do you think?

Ebola in the USA – Promotional Stunt for The Walking Dead or Proletariat Genocide?

It’s like the plot of some badly written hollywood horror flick – a man tries to get a pregnant woman with Ebola into a hospital only to have her sent back home – where she dies. Then he gets on a plane, flies to the capital of the European Union and then takes a plane to the USA – but wanting to make sure even more passengers going to diverse locations are infected – he takes a second plane to Dallas, Texas.

Once in the USA, he hugs and kisses his girlfriend’s five kids – who go to four different low income schools in the Dallas Area – and then proceeds to get really sick and vomit and bleed in the low income, overcrowded apartments he is staying in – a neighbor takes him to the hospital – and in a quirky twist of fate – he is turned away and sent back home by taxi cab – where he continues to expose people for two more days by visiting shopping malls, pharmacies, and fast food restaurants. When news gets out – the hospital says “Yeah, we’ve got it covered” and put him in an improvised safe unit – while telling the poor people back at the apartment complex to hang tough and stay indoors… – yeah, that’s been working in Liberia and Sierra Leone too.

It’s like the badly written plot of some horror flick – but, actually – it’s real. And who knows what plot twists have been left out – with an incubation period of 2-24 days – we can wait and see…meanwhile, it seems like maybe the Unabomber’s idea of the Bourgouisie playing a genocidal trick on the old proles might be in the works – let’s face it – the rich don’t need all of us, only enough to mow their lawns, fly their planes, and grow and cook their food and again – let’s face it – that doesn’t take 8 billion. Imagine a country of 5 million people all serving their uber-rich overlords – it’s not hard to see how it makes sense.

Me? I’m hanging tight for the next month and seeing where the next case of Ebola crops up – my money is on either Chicago, Detroit, or New Orleans but I won’t count out LA, San Francisco, Seattle, or New York either –

In the meantime – I’m going to be eating a lot of curry and garlic – you never know – it might help.

Thank God for Stupid Terrorists

On this anniversary of the September 11th attacks – which I’m sad to hear called Patriot Day – because it’s not about patriotism – it’s about a heinous and cowardly act and mourning the innocent men, women, and children who died as a result – anyway, on this September 11th, I’d like to give thanks for stupid terrorists.

Apparently the smartest ones died in the first attacks (and those later in Europe and Africa) because since that time, there have been nothing but bumbling shoe bombers and nincompoop jihadists trying to arrange terrorist acts with FBI informants or using thier cellphones to arrange meetups. Thank god they are all apparently retarded.

There have been no successful terrorist campaigns and at the point when they look like they might be on the verge of setting up an Islamic State and having the world let them – the idiots decide it’s a perfect time to execute American journalists and make threats to the American people. Jesus H. Christ – didn’t these boobs realize that the war weary American public and the second term President would have let them create their own country and have all of Iraq and Syria (and probably much of the rest of the middle East) if they would have just left the Kurdish oil fields in peace and not taunted the most powerful, egotistical, and fearful country in the world?

Now we watch as the idiots make a mockery of themselves and get systematically bombed and bludgeoned until something smarter and less prone to provoke American fear and it’s deadly response replaces them. Fuck you Isis, you should have called yourself Shazam.

Anyway, thank god for the idiot terrorists who haven’t managed to poison our water supply even though a drunk kid in Portland managed to piss in the drinking water reservoir just several months ago.

Thank God for idiot terrorists who haven’t figured out that a truck stop or buffet would be a great place to poison a bunch of pork eating infidels. And thank god they didn’t figure out they could shut down our electric grid and freeze hundreds of seniors or derail trains carrying toxic waste through urban areas.

It’s hard to believe the terrorists are so lazy, stupid, and idiotic that they haven’t figured out they could poison our air by mixing bleach and ammonia in a confined stadium or sell a bunch of toxic waste filled containers to someone that wanted to make a few extra bucks storing it on their land bordering agricultural fields. It’s really hard to believe.

If they wanted to, it seems like they could have killed so many of us by now…but then, maybe we should thank god for our genius homeland security and the long lines at airports and the invasive searches and wire tapping that have foiled the plots we never heard of. Maybe we should thank George W. Bush and Dick Cheney for the war against terrorism.

Or maybe, the terrorists are smarter than we think – maybe they are playing the long game and just waiting for us to implode and destroy ourselves with GMO foods, carcinogenic additives, pill popping depressed grade schoolers, and narcissistic social media obsessed sociopathic teens who don’t know the difference between killing a zombie on TV and shooting a person in the park.

Either way, thank God for idiot terrorists and for the fact that since 2001, there has not been another successful mass attack on the people of the USA.

No more comic books and super hero movies – PLEASE!

Hollywood never has had a very keen imagination but it seems like all they make these days are superhero and comic book movies – the lure of merchandising and cross media promotion was too much. It used to be cool, now it’s just embarrassing. Please, no more superhero or comic book films, no more 1960s and 1970s remakes, no more sitcoms or TV classics turned into features.

Something new would be nice. Here are a few ideas:

George Washington before America

The Surrealists

Folk Artist Narrative Biopics we’ve never heard of

Cesar Chavez

Nazi USA – where the Germans won WWII (Imagine a world where Germany dominates Europe and the USA is a fascist state..oh wait…we already have that…)

Norman Rockwell – Serial Killer

Ataturk starring Mel Gibson and Russel Crowe

Evil Kneival biopic

The most boring man alive – Ben Stiller does nothing for two hours while the audience checks their phones for text messages

The Stealing of the Presidency – an all out conspiracy nut pic starring every star you can think of but especially Woody Harrelson as Nixon and Angelina Jolie as Jackie O and later with Adam Levine as Reagan and Chevy Chase as Bush Sr.

Just please, no more comic books!


Destroying Cool Things for a Profit

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Here’s something sad that isn’t new – often, the parts are worth more than the whole. Case in point – I bought a couple of really cool old items recently – a 1940s National Cash Register and a 1920s RCA Victor 5 Band World Radio.

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I’ve tried to sell both at numerous prices – but with no luck. I tried to sell them high at the price that the pieces are worth when parted out and then, because I hate tearing cool things apart – I tried to sell them at just about the price I bought them for – which is roughly 25% of what they part out at.

They wouldn’t sell. Too big, too heavy, and folks just don’t have the room they used to have. All those McMansions are being sold as boomers realize they don’t want to climb stairs every night or mow an acre of grass in the front yard. They’re selling their furniture, selling their collections, and selling the collections they inherited from their parents.  The younger generation doesn’t have the money or the space.

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So, I’m going to destroy these cool old machines. I’ll sell the RCA Victor tubes for $20 each and the keys of the old cash register for $2 each – I’ll pull out the cool old dial from the radio and the bakelite knobs and then convert the cabinet into a bookshelf. I’ll scrap the guts of the register for about $30 more and paint the whole thing red and slap a coke label on it and sell it to someone for $35 which is the last price I tried to sell it for.

I’ll quadruple my investment even when you figure in the time spent pulling these cool old machines apart – but it sure seems like a shame to do it.