Archive for scary clowns
Clown-Jazeera
Frankly, we, the scary arab clowns, are happy to have a little break from Vago. That doesn’t mean we will stop posting though…boy, as if the economic worries aren’t enough, here is one more reason we don’t want to become American citizens:
A man armed with two handguns killed 13 people at an immigration services center before apparently turning the gun on himself, authorities in Binghamton, New York, said on Friday.
Police Chief Joseph Zikuski told a news conference the gunman blocked the back entrance of the building with a car, walked in the front door and shot two receptionists, one of whom died, before entering a classroom and killing 12 more people and then apparently committing suicide.
Just imagine, those twelve people loved your country enough to want to take tests and oaths and what reward? Shot in a classroom where they were learning about the bill of rights…hmmm…well done America.
In a report underscoring the economy’s distress, the Labor Department said employers slashed 663,000 jobs in March and revised prior data to show job losses of 741,000 in January, the biggest decline since October 1949. February’s drop in non-farm payrolls was unrevised at 651,000.The report showed it has become increasingly difficult to find new jobs, with the number of Americans experiencing long spells of joblessness rising by 265,000 to 3.2 million. Nearly one in four of the unemployed had been jobless for 27 weeks or more. Rising unemployment is cutting into household incomes, which already have been decimated by the collapse in housing and stock prices, restricting consumers’ spending ability.
And it looks like your President is really doing a good job. As we said before, we like him, but doubt he can do all he is expected to, but then again, maybe he is the return of Jesus.
We like the g-20 protestors but we have to agree with Vago that Protest is no longer an effective means of changing things. Not that we discourage it though. Protest in the modern technological police state is simply a way of putting dissenters in tightly cordoned protest areas and then taking many pictures of them.
We find it curious that Vago is in Europe at the same time as Obama, he denies that there is a connection but we have seen his Agent 808 profile.
We expect that there will be a massive selloff on Wall Street when we prove that there are no stigmata on Obama’s hands.
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Apologies from Scary Arab Clowns…and threats
We the Scary Arab Clowns aplolgiwe for not doing a very good job containing Vago. We acknowledge that we have not kept very good tabs on him and have allowed him to get into all sorts of mischief. First of all, we turned our backs for a moment and he became engaged to a Moroccan girl. We know, we never should have let this happen and if we were paid employees in charge of watching him, you would probably fire us, but to be fair, we like the girl and for the most part, she has made our job easier. Then, we leave him alne for a moment more and suddenly the madman has become a rabbit farmer and is talking of buying a donkey! It’s too late to stop the engagement or the rabbits, but certainly we won’t let him ride around in a djalabba on a donkey! He is our prisoner and we won’t let him parade around as if he is some sort of wandering jew or good samaritan, nor even like he is a berber tribesman. As to his plans of the Sahara…we will see about that. We may send him to France instead just to punish you American pig dogs for not making any contributions to this site! We will have him eat freedom fries until his heart explodes!
Enough of that…
We also apologize for our lack of updating the news and threaten to tell you more about the failings of your foolish economic ways unless you pay us!
Your bailout is working…but not the way you thought it might!
Embattled bank JPMorgan Chase, the recipient of $25 billion in TARP funds, is going ahead with a $138 million plan to buy two new luxury corporate jets and build “the premiere corporate aircraft hangar on the eastern seaboard” to house them.
And we are laughing about the new Obama plan to create a market for toxic assetts, isnùt that what created the problem? Traders creating a market for toxic assetts? It’s funnier than 35 sheep in big shoes crammed into a tiny wagon!
The Obama administration will announce details of a plan today to expand the $700 billion rescue of the financial system that will rely on enticing private investors to buy the troubled assets clogging banks’ balance sheets.
Treasury Secretary Timothy Geithner, who will unveil the Public Private Investment Program today, has crafted an approach using up to $100 billion of bailout money to spur investment funds to purchase — and banks to unload — the illiquid securities and loans that have caused credit to dry up. The Treasury, Federal Reserve and the Federal Deposit Insurance Corp. will all play a role alongside private investors in aiming to buy between $500 billion and $1 trillion of troubled assets.
“By providing a market for these assets that does not now exist, this program will help improve asset values, increase lending capacity by banks, and reduce uncertainty about the scale of losses on bank balance sheets,” Geithner said in an op-ed piece published in today’s Wall Street Journal. “The ability to sell assets to this fund will make it easier for banks to raise private capital.”
Backwards just like in India where the maker of the worlds cheapest car took out massive loans to buy Jaguar and Land Rover from Ford and thus made the cheapest car unporfitable. Nice work India, Henry Ford, who you just bought Jag and Land Rover from is laughing in his grave at your stupidity. By the way, we project Ford to be the only major U.S. auto company in five years.
Tata Motors Ltd. will begin taking orders next month for its Nano, the world’s cheapest car, after a failed effort to build a new factory for the vehicle delayed production. The low price and late sales mean the car won’t generate enough revenue to refinance by June $2 billion of a bridge loan Tata used to buy Land Rover and Jaguar from Ford Motor Co.
And can you make sense of this, if so, you are right to be scared!
Economists see the Fed’s balance sheet ballooning to $4.5 trillion this year, with its announced purchases added to existing lending facilities. That’s trillion with a “t.” And it would be five times the size of the balance sheet in the first eight months of 2008, before the Fed cranked up the printing presses.
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Rethinking Narnia – The Obama Administration
We would like to offer the world an appropriate term for the Obama administration. Narnia. Just as the Kennedy administration was known as Camelot, we think that Narnia is a good term for Obamas. We have many reasons for this, mainly it is that what you think you are seeing is not what is really happening. We would like to suggest that perhaps what you are witnessing is a modern fairy tale and as such is not quite what you think it is.
A few examples might suffice to get you to think more about this:
The highest levels of the Obama administration are infested with members of a shadowy, elitist cabal intent on installing a one-world government that subverts the will of the American people.
It turns out that Sebelius – like top administration economists Timothy Geithner, Larry Summers and Paul Volcker, as well as leading Obama diplomats Richard Holbrooke and Dennis Ross – is a Bilderberger. That is, she is someone who has participated in the annual invitation-only conference held by an elite international organization known as the Bilderberg group.
The group, which takes its name from the Dutch hotel where it held its first meeting in 1954, exists solely to bring together between 100 and 150 titans of politics, finance, military, industry, academia and media from North America and Western Europe once a year to discuss world affairs. It doesn’t issue policy statements or resolutions, nor does it hold any events other than an annual meeting.
According to U.S. Representative Ron Paul “The one thing that concerns me is that the people who surround Obama or Bush generally come from the same philosophic viewpoint and they have their organizations – they have the Trilateral Commission, the CFR [Council on Foreign Relations] and the Bilderbergers, and they’ve been around a long time. And my biggest concern is what they preach: Keynesian economics and interventionism and world planning. And I don’t think it’s just Obama. Whether it’s the Republicans or the Democrats – Goldman Sachs generally has somebody in treasury. And the big banks generally have somebody in the Federal Reserve. And they’re international people, too. And they’re probably working very hard this weekend, with the G20. And they get involved in the IMF. But that is their stated goal.”
And look at what we see when we go to the day’s news:
WASHINGTON/NEW YORK (Reuters) – Goldman Sachs Group Inc and a parade of European banks were the major beneficiaries of $93 billion in payments from AIG — more than half of the U.S. taxpayer money spent to rescue the massive insurer.
The revelation on Sunday by American International Group Inc was another potential public relations nightmare, coming on the same weekend that the Obama administration expressed outrage over AIG’s plan to pay massive bonuses to the people in the very division that destroyed the company by issuing billions of dollars in derivatives insuring risky assets.
The fact that billions of dollars given to prop up giant insurer AIG were then transferred to European banks and Wall Street investment houses could raise new doubts about whether the rescue was really economically necessary.
Goldman Sachs, formerly led by Henry Paulson who was treasury secretary at the time of the original AIG bailout, said, as it has in the past, that its AIG positions were “collateralized and hedged.”
And suddenly, we have to wonder if we are seeing the world of muggles or the world of wizards, we know we are mixing our metaphors here…so we will say, which side of the wardrobe are we on, and is the woman who gives us Turkish Delight actually on our side? We found this from BoingBoing today and it is worth considering:
The Obama administration has undone a few of the Bush administration’s worst policies, true. Yet when it comes to Obama’s increasingly clear disdain for some core civil liberties and his administration’s penchant for secrecy despite cheerful rhetoric to the contrary, Salon’s Glenn Greenwald arrives at a dismal — but sadly, logical — conclusion:
After many years of anger and complaint and outrage directed at the Bush administration for its civil liberties assaults and executive power abuses, the last thing most people want to do is conclude that the Obama administration is continuing the core of that extremism. That was why the flurry of executive orders in the first week produced such praise: those who are devoted to civil liberties were, from the start, eager to believe that things would be different, and most want to do everything but conclude that the only improvements that will be made by Obama will be cosmetic ones.
But it’s becoming increasingly difficult for honest commentators to do anything else but conclude that. After all, these are the exact policies which, when embraced by Bush, produced such intense protest over the last eight years. Nobody is complaining because the Obama administration is acting too slowly in renouncing these policies. The opposite is true: they are rushing to actively embrace them. And while there are still opportunities to meaningfully depart from the extremism of the last eight years, the evidence appears more and more compelling that, at least in these areas, there is little or no real intent on the part of the Obama administration to do so.
Democrats in Congress and much of the political left have been silent or nearly so despite the evidence. You expect cowardice from Congress, which spent the Bush presidency in a perpetual bent-over posture. The Netroots folks who did so much to elect Obama should be screaming bloody murder by now. Too few are even slightly audible. A shame.
We, the Scary Arab Clowns, see that things are not quite what you think them to be, but the question is, do you?
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Clown-Jazeera. More guns and bad news.
We the Scary Arab Clowns admit to taking some satisfaction in being right, but the misery that you and your people are going through bring us no joy. With that being said, we wish you peace and equality with the rest of the third world.
U.S. unemployment will approach 10 percent as the country endures its worst recession since World War Two, leaving more than 13 million Americans jobless, according to a Reuters poll of economists.
We admit to joy that there are less billionaires than there were before.
The financial crisis is taking its toll on the world’s richest people, wiping 332 names off Forbes magazine’s “rich list” of world billionaires.
Just 793 people can now lay claim to a place on the list, but on average they have lost 23% of their wealth.
Sadly, the wealthy feel this crisis the least:
Nearly 291,000 properties in the U.S. got a foreclosure filing in February, the third highest monthly total since RealtyTrac began tracking the data in January 2005.
Hawaii had 537 foreclosure filings in February, up 59.3 percent from January and up 275.5 percent from February 2008. There were 337 foreclosure filings in January and 143 foreclosures in February 2008.
And the poor and desperate will continue to murder each other in increasing numbers:
Police in Texas say a man shot and wounded his estranged girlfriend and then killed her mother and her son before killing himself in a home in a Fort Worth suburb.
Police say the shooter was found dead of a gunshot wound inside a home in North Richland Hills on Tuesday night.
and not just in the USA
A 17-year-old in black combat gear killed 15 people in southwest Germany on Wednesday in a shooting spree that started at his former school.
But there is good news too: Monkeys in Thailand have learned how to floss and are teaching their offspring, so when we humans disappear, the next species will have good dental hygiene.
TOKYO (AFP) – Thai monkeys have been observed showing their young how to floss — proof primates teach offspring to use tools, a Japanese researcher said Wednesday.
“I was surprised because teaching techniques on using tools properly to a third party are said to be an activity carried out only by humans,” Professor Nobuo Masataka of Kyoto University’s Primate Research Institute told AFP.
His research team observed seven female long-tailed macaques and their offspring and monitored how often the mothers cleaned the spaces between their teeth with strands of human hair, in a colony of 250 animals near Bangkok.
The study found that the frequency of teeth-cleaning roughly doubled and became more elaborate when the infant monkeys were watching, suggesting that the females were deliberately teaching their young how to floss, he said.
“The study is still at the hypothesis stage,” Masataka cautioned. “We would like to shift our focus to the baby monkeys to check whether the mothers’ actions are effectively helping them learn how to clean their teeth.”
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WTO, Guns, Hawaii buses, Chuck Norris, and Lincolns Watch
First of all, since we have gotten to know Vago pretty well, we are amazed that Obama would consider making Gil Kerllikowski, the top cop in the WTO riot debacle the head of anything, but then, it was under Clinton that the actual repression of free speech began in the United States and the growth of the protest movement was stopped by Israeli tactics. For example, you can protest in this spot, about this issue, from this time to this time. We would like to remind people that protests are designed to check the power of oppressive institutions, not enforce it. Protesting in a cage wouldn’t have worked for Gandhi or King, though Mandella did do a nice job of it, but this is a different story. So, we are not encouraged to see a man who used rubber bullets and tear gas against mostly peaceful U.S. citizens in what might have been a defining moment of change being appointed to a position of power in what is being painted as a climate of change.
We do however give Obama credit for trying. And because we believe in signs and omens as written about in al-Quran we think it is hopeful to hear about the pocketwatch of Lincoln and the message in it, though since we are not only scary arab clowns but also suspicious ones, we wonder if the timing (get it?) is a set up.
Dillon told his children (and, half a century later, a reporter for the New York Times) that he opened the watch’s inner workings and scrawled his name, the date and a message for the ages: “The first gun is fired. Slavery is dead. Thank God we have a President who at least will try.”
He then closed it up and sent it back to the White House. Lincoln never knew of the message. Dillon died in 1907.
The watch, meanwhile, was handed down and eventually given to the Smithsonian Institution in 1958. It didn’t run anymore. No one had pried open the inner workings in ages. The old watchmaker’s tale was just that.
And then Douglas Stiles, Dillon’s great-great grandson, alerted Smithsonian officials to the family legend last month. He was a real-estate attorney in Waukegan, Ill., he explained. He’d heard the legend around the dinner table as a kid, but had just discovered a New York Times article from 1906, quoting Dillon as telling the story himself.
The truth was a little different though, yesterday the watch was opened. And the message was revealed as being not quite so psychic as it was thought to be. Split into three different sections to get around the tiny gears, was this razor-thin etching: “Jonathan Dillon April 13, 1861. Fort Sumter was attacked by the rebels on the above date. Thank God we have a government.”
We also want to wish Chuck Norris a happy 69th birthday. We enjoyed recently when he spoke about seccession from the United States by way of Texas. We think the United States would be a much better country without Texas and we can think of no one more inept, er qualified to preside over the lone star state than Chuck Norris or George W. Bush and frankly we are tired of Bush, at least Chuck Norris could fight with Putin and have a chance of winning.
We see that in Hawaii, the response to an increase in use of public transportation is to raise the cost of using the transport. We hate to be the one’s to tell the big oaf Mufi Hanneman, but this is bad economics and a bad way to help save the environment. Stupid greedy mormon fucker. Lower the fares, subsidize it more, and watch as your need for rail disappears…oh, wait a minute, maybe it is that you want more support for your rail plan….we get it.
We would also like to congratulate the U.S. government on training a new generation of Taliban and al-quaida leaders in Gitmo. We are not certain whether you released a leader or created one, but either way, good job.
U.S. officials say the Taliban’s new top operations officer in southern Afghanistan is a former prisoner at the Guantanamo detention center. Pentagon and CIA officials say Abdullah Ghulam Rasoul was among 13 prisoners released to the Afghan government in December 2007. He is now known as Mullah Abdullah Zakir, a name officials say is used by the Taliban leader in charge of operations against U.S. and Afghan forces in southern Afghanistan.
Also, we applaud your continued defense of a gun culture in your increasingly deadly country. We would be interested to see how many Americans have killed themselves with guns since the monetary crisis (thanks be to Allah) began. And we see this as just a beginning of your gun troubles, it’s a thorny crop you have planted, prepare for a bloody harvest.
At least 10 people including the suspected gunman and his mother were killed in a shooting spree and car chase in southern Alabama on Tuesday, authorities said.
The shooter, who was in his mid-30s, killed five people including the wife of a local deputy sheriff and her 3-month-old baby at a mobile home in Samson, according to Wynnton Melton, mayor of nearby Geneva, Alabama.
His other victims included his own mother, two people killed at a convenience store and a man in a pickup truck who died during a car chase as the gunman apparently fired at random, said Melton.
Mass shootings have become a feature of life in the United States.
In one of the worst recent incidents, a gunman dressed as Santa Claus killed nine guests at a Christmas Eve party, before taking his own life in Covina, California, a suburb of Los Angeles.
On April 16, 2007, Virginia Tech, a university in Blacksburg, Virginia, became the site of the deadliest rampage in modern U.S. history when a student gunman killed 32 people and himself.
Guns are widely available for purchase in the United States, a country that prides itself on the right to own weapons for self defense and hunting.
Nice work America. We are glad to be living someplace that is relatively safe like Morocco.
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